Brief Sunshine of the Spotted Mind

I have lived a life long enough, and seen enough highs and lows, to realise that it's very difficult being truly satisfied. It's even more so for anyone who manages to limit his sight so much that the only people visible are those who are 'doing well' in life, and so kills himself every moment by comparing. I do that too.

I am doing better now than what I have done for quite some time. I am also fortunate that the very few people whom I like like me. But way too often I am bothered by the fact that I can do so much better, and that there are still some people whom I would like to like me but who probably don't. I feel guilty when I am not studying. I feel scared that things will get as bad as they were in the not so distant past. That people interviewing me for a job will not agree that I have rectified my misakes.

And then there are brief moments like this (and this post is meant to treasure such moments for the future) when I do something which normally would make me feel guilty, but it actually makes me happy. I just finished watching a movie called Little Miss Sunshine (and I have two papers tomorrow). I would probably get back into the rat-race a few minutes from now. And I don't always mind running either. But it's moments like these, when you have watched a great movie, read a great book or had a great conversation, that you feel that life's going to be good no matter which position I finish at.