An interesting thing happened over the weekend.
After the badly ventilated flat I had in Bangalore, I am fortunate enough to have one with two balconies in Mumbai now. It's awesome for the air as well as the light in the flat, and I don't need to switch on any lights till sunset.
The downside of these balconies is that I almost always end up being woken up in the morning by some pigeon's guttural sounds. And those idiots shit a lot too.
QI tells me that pigeons are the only birds that can suck. And they do suck a lot.
So, I have an AC carton kept in my living room balcony, which a pigeon couple had decided to convert into their own penthouse, despite all my acts of discouragement.
On returning from my Bangkok trip, I saw two eggs in the carton. Pigeon eggs are really small. So, I had let them stay for a while as I thought they'd be done with it soon. One of the eggs hatched sometime back.
Yesterday, I got angry with a friend and didn't have anything to vent my anger out on. So, I went and shook the carton really hard. The mom (I am assuming it was a 'mom' because she was sitting on the little pigeon chick thing) flew away in fright, leaving the kid behind. I shook some more and the chick bounced around for a while and fell down to the floor.
That was yesterday.
From last evening till the afternoon today, the stupid kid had shat all over my balcony, while the parents looked on perched on my AC. The maid hadn't come today so it was going to get even worse by tomorrow morning.
So, when the pigeons left for a while I lifted the kid on a magazine and threw it onto the roof of a car parked below my balcony. Was curious to see how the pigeons would react when they came back.
The pigeons came back in a few minutes and took some time in locating the kid. The morons then went on to nudge the kid off the roof on to the ground.
A dog came within moments and made a nice evening snack of the kid.
I threw the other egg down for the dog's dessert. But a crow flew in and ate it the moment it fell on to the ground.
This will teach the pigeons not to treat my balcony as prime real estate.
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9 comments:
Arnav Sinha, you're an asshole. How on earth could you do such an awful thing?? I'm officially unsubscribing from your blog.
:) J, you've a lot more growing-up to do to the blogger's sense of humour.
You didn't really do that, did you? The pigeons bit and ate three of fingers instead, didn't they?
Well written..
Awesome piece. This will hurt a lot of "sensitive" people.
After all these comments I still hope this is not a story, considering how disappointed I was after the truth about Darwin came up. What's wrong anyway in venting anger on pigeon eggs? It doesn't matter to them. They'll mate again, won't they?
I was half expecting the post to end with a delicious Balut dish.
I dont know what to say.
Very Chuck Palanhiuk-esque. Obviously, you and he are both disturbed people, but all the same, you both often write exciting, provocative stuff!
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