Saturday, January 9, 2010

My Best Friend - II

Vibhor referred me to this blog. I had been thinking about how pointless it is to write here, and couldn't think of anything to write about, but this post hit me really bad. I am really missing Sheru and Heena now.

My relationship with my family, like with most other people I know, isn't exactly great. We have learned to tolerate each other, and probably share a bit more of our happiness and sadness than we would with a complete stranger, but I have increasingly grown distant from them. Apart from some close cousins, I can't bear meeting any relative. Even the communication with my parents and sister is really minimal. I find it incredible when some of my friends tell me that they call home everyday. So, when I do go home once in a while, I spend most of my time with our dogs. They understand everything. Expect nothing. Of course, since I have largely been away from home since the time these two chaps came into our family, I don't connect with them as much as I had with the earlier Heena.

Had recently read a post by Jai Arjun Singh, where he was talking about Foxie after watching Paa. Dogs really are like living with children with Progeria. From the day they come into your life, you know you will most likely outlive them. You will see them grow from these small, cute pups into sturdy adults and then gradually wither into weakness. And then they'll leave. If you have ever had an animal you loved die, you would know how maddeningly painful it is.

I have had this debate more than once with a close friend, who does not think very highly of having pets, about this 'love' that people profess for dogs, or for any other animal. Do we really love dogs, when we commit them to a life of domesticity, sort of emasculating them and preventing them from living a life of freedom, in the wild, or even around humans but fending for themselves.

I am not sure. I do make the same mistake that many others do - of confusing a dog's dependence on me for food, for taking him out for a walk, for playing with him with a ball, as his love for me. Deriving happiness from treating an animal like a kid, turning a creature into a baby that needs your care and then feeling good about providing that care - does that animal really need it? Isn't that care, that proximity, that understanding you can never share with another human being, more your need than the animal's?

As I said, I don't know. I probably do need that love more than the dog. I probably needed Heena more in my life - to sit with her and talk to (and with) her, to go on long walks with her, to feel the gratification of her telling me that she had missed me when I would come back from a trip, to help me cope with a lot of pain and confusion that growing up was - than she ever needed me or my family.

And I am willing to bear the punishment for having subjected her to a life less free than she might have had otherwise. The pain that punishment would involve, or the much greater pain I undergo every time I think about her and miss her, cannot match up to what she gave me in those 10-11 years she was around.

That is why, even though I know I will be renewing my chances of even more pain in the future by doing this, I wish I will be able to have a dog as a pet once more.

And, I hope Badal comes back. Or at least is happy wherever he is.

6 comments:

kk said...

Hi.
I am kk. I wrote the above post you mentioned.

Thanks for this post. It really meant a lot. I especially liked your last sentence : And, I hope Badal comes back. Or at least is happy wherever he is.

I hope that too.

Neelabh said...

Touching post. Quite a bit of change from your earlier posts and tweets.

Robert Frust said...

Movingly written.
I've never had a pet myself but there was a cat who had adopted 3 of us in Shivalik. It used to sit in my lap and purr when stroked under the neck. The love and happiness one experiences with a pet are of the purest form. It's also a little maddening (esp. with cats) because they don't reciprocate the way you'd like.
The comparison to a baby is absolutely accurate.

kk said...

Hi

Today I found out about what happened to Badal. A friend of a friend of my brother came to our house today. He told that he saw Badal, 2 days ago, in Street 8 Shanti Nagar, around 4 kms from our house. We went and asked several people. Here is what we’ve found out:

Street dogs had bit him and chased him to Shanti Nagar. There he stayed for the night (7th Jan) and the next day. A person, we met today, gave him food, he thought Badal was ill. On 9th, a girl, around 8 years old, took him in her house as he was hurt. She gave him milk. At night her father came from work and asked her to remove him from their house, he said that someone will accuse them of stealing him (Badal was wearing a blue jacket, so everybody guessed that he belonged to somebody). He survived for next 2 days on the street and then he died, day before yesterday (13th Jan). The same man, father of that kind girl, buried him in an empty plot nearby.

Captain Subtext said...

[kk] This is rather uncharacteristic of me, especially maybe from the perspective of the people who read my posts regularly, but I am sorry Badal wasn't with you and your family when he died.

It must have been very confusing and painful for him to experience those last days, and I really wish he had found his way back.

We render pet animals so incapable of taking care of themselves outside that it spells doom for them the moment they set their foot out.

But, maybe knowing he's gone is better than worrying constantly about him. I am sorry. I really don't know what to say.

Nishant Shrivastava said...

@ KK sir
I feel the same as the feelings expressed by the person commented above.I loved My Dog too and my whole family treated him like a part of US.But the Last days become unbearable to watch them in so much pain.You are lucky and Unlucky in both manners...and you can guess why I am saying this all..coz I have seen my Dog(rather call him my Brother and best Pal of childhood..best Toy of mine..anything!)in that condition.Pets can Share happy and hard times along with you.But when it comes to share there Pain,we become quite Helpless....Anyways...May Badal's soul rest in peace..!!

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