Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Getting Real

"Hello?"

"Hello, is this the Sinha residence?"

"Yes, that's right. May I know who I am speaking to?"

"Good evening, ma'am. I am calling from Manipal Hospital in Bangalore. Am I talking to Mrs Sinha?"

"(Already panicking) Yes, that's me. Is everything alright? What is this about?"

"Umm...ma'am, can I speak to Mr Sinha, please? It's urgent."

"(Now frantic) Mr Sinha is traveling right now. Can you just tell me now what this is about?!"

"Well, ma'am...I'm afraid I have some bad news for you. The thing is...you see ma'am...a body was brought to our hospital's emergency ward last night. We are not sure about it ma'am...but we have reasons to believe that...as I said we are not sure...there aren't enough identification papers on the body...that it might be your son. We would need someone from your family to visit us and identify the body."

Mrs Sinha's pretty much speechless by now. And if it required any more effort to hear the person on the other side than just standing there and holding the phone to her ear, she would pretty much be incapable of doing that too.

There's about a minute or so of not knowing how to react. Then, she says something garbled into the phone and drops it. The next 5 minutes or so are spent trying to get through to Mr Sinha, who has probably just switched off his phone on the flight to Mumbai. The reaction comes after that. But it's too unique to be described as mere shock/grief.

And then, after 5 more minutes have passed in the confusion, a stranger walks in, followed by a man holding a camera. The stranger does not wait for Mrs Sinha to say anything before shouting out simultaneously to her and to the camera, in extreme glee:"Mrs Sinha! This is Ultimate Reality TV! You are on camera LIVE right now!! Your reaction has been captured for our viewers across the world, who I am sure are glued to their TV screens watching how you reacted to the phone call! It was fantastic! Don't worry, your son is fine in Bangalore! Congratulations! You have won an all-expenses paid trip to Thailand with your family! You must be delighted!"

How's that for a reality show idea? We could call up people with other less-interesting news like "Your house has been demolished by the municipality" or "Your cat was set on fire by the neighborhood kid" or "This is IIM Calcutta. I am sorry your application form for this year's CAT was rejected. You are also debarred from taking the exam for the next 5 years".

I think I have a winner on my hands.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Whoa! That's awful !!
A bit too ultimate, if you ask me :P

Atish said...

awesome!!
one for these times: something on the lines of "..this is your manager calling. dont come to office today.. u've been fired."

Anonymous said...

You do, indeed. But before that happens, your mother's going to read this post and come and kill you herself! :)

Phoenix said...

Sadism is okay, but save your mom your merciless whims. I'm glad you do not work at Endemol India

Captain Subtext said...

[geetika1255] Believe me, this plotline would sound very normal two years from now.

[atish] Yeah, would love to try that on some of my B-school friends working in the Citis and Merrills

[jade] I am fairly sure my mom does not read my blog. And in any case, there must be at least a 100 other people in Bangalore, staying away from their parents, with the last name Sinha. Why are people assuming that this one's about me!

[phoenix] See above answer. Endemol India can't afford my salary.

Robert Frust said...

Awesome! I know advice like this flies back and forth all the time and is hardly ever acted upon, but you ought to write :).

PS: The word verification for me is "subtxt".

Captain Subtext said...

[robert frust] Yeah, I have given myself that advice also far too many times, but nothing's worked out. And probably never will. Thanks.

Robert Frust said...

Not because you write well, but because you have a genuinely twisted way of looking at things (not always, of course). It's been a long time since English, August .

Captain Subtext said...

I agree with the twisted bit. But I think I write well too. What would you know!

Robert Frust said...

Not just because you write well...

Captain Subtext said...

So you do know after all!

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